POEM

 

I have come to terms
With never again being asked to dance.
There are those who have never danced.

I have come to terms
With never again being passionately kissed.
There are those who have never been kissed.

I have come to terms
With never again being young and thin.
There are those who will never grow old.

I have come to terms
With never visiting Africa
Or seeing the Northern Lights
Or skydiving.
Because I have loved and been loved.

I Wish I Missed My Mother

She had an angelic voice. The rare times that she sang us to sleep, usually when we were sick, she sang in a lovely soprano intonation. Most times though, her voice carried whatever would be considered the complete opposite sound.  I asked an older sister once if she remembers mom's singing voice.  She didn't recall ever being sung to as a child. 

Every Mother's Day, social media is littered with pictures of missed mothers.  Mothers whose children wish for just one more day with them.  Children who have lovely memories of mothers they cherish; mothers who were even their best friend.  I tend to feel guilty about not posting similar fond remembrances for my own mother. 

I know without a doubt that she did the best she could with what she knew and the resources she had. We were clothed, and fed, and sheltered.  I know she didn't set out to be an unmissed mother. I know she was only human, with her own demons. That's why I feel guilty, sad, and wishful.  Because even though I don't necessarily fault her, I can't bring myself to miss her. 

Mom's demeanor was volatile. Most times verbally. Sometimes physically.  Almost always emotionally.  And the intensity varied per child, mood, alcohol level, financial situation, love life, any and all outside factors. My older siblings learned to sleep with the covers over their head. When mom came home in the middle of the night - drunk, looking for a fight - she couldn't choose a victim if she didn't know who was who.  Sometimes, that didn't stop her. She’d just pick the one closest to the doorway. 

Accusations were her weapon of choice. Words upon words of untruth. Her reality was not reality. Vulgar, insane, nonsensical ramblings flung like spears. Spears to pierce, shame, confuse, and annihilate.  She had an unhealthy view of sex. We were all doing it, in her mind, with our opposite sex friends, teachers, whomever she saw us have a healthy relationship with. Eventually, we learned to ignore.  We stopped believing her beliefs - about herself and us.  

There was some laughter. Fun. When she had a few extra dollars, we were treated to outings. Trips to the movie theater – we watched Star Wars three times in a row. Eating out – the original James Coney Island in downtown Houston was a favorite. Board and card games – Rummy, Sorry.  All short-lived. All enjoyed with breath held for the next outburst.  She was a sore loser. 

Therefore, I don't miss her.  I so wish she was a mother worth missing. I wish I could post her picture with gushing words of loving remembrances. Maybe next year. Or the year after. Maybe someday. 

Equally-Yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

I worked a Christian prayer line for a couple years.

We'd get dozens of calls a week asking for prayer for a Godly mate.  Maybe more than dozens.  
She wants a man after God's own heart. 
He wants a Proverbs 31 wife. 
It's inspiring to see people seek the Lord's guidance to an equally-yoked relationship.

However, how many of those requests are truly seeking a God-centered relationship? We also hear from married callers that are not equally-yoked to followers of Christ.
More often than not, like this emailed prayer, they're simply looking to not be lonely anymore.
"Prayer warriors pray for God to send me a new Male companion. I am just looking for companionship right now."

I have a close Muslim friend. She'd been divorced about 4 years when she said to me one day, "I really want to get married again, to a nice Muslim man."

That comment resonated with me because of her steadfastness to marry within her same faith. Period. Not, "oh, we don't have to be the same faith, as long as he loves me." Or, "I can lead them to Jesus." "I'll pray that he starts coming to church with me, someday." 

We can be incredibly wishy-washy when we're desperate to be loved.

How many of us have personally witnessed, or been involved in, missionary dating?

"Missionary dating is the act of a person of one religious faith, commonly Christianity, dating a person with differing beliefs for the purpose of changing that person's beliefs or religion."

Why can't we remain steadfast in our loyalty to the Lord first, instead of ourselves?  What would God want for us?  

I believe He'd want us to be equally-yoked.

Still No Clue About Love and Marriage

SO many weddings around me.

Newly engaged 20-somethings in seemingly every area of my life.

Lately, in recent years, I've experienced more and more couples that began dating soon after meeting and then become engaged soon after dating.

They typically are honeymooning it up after less than a year of knowing each other.

This nags at my core.
Disturbs my soul.
Bugs me.

1. How can you possibly know you want to date someone within weeks of meeting?

2. How can you possibly want to spend the rest of your life with someone you've dated for only a few months?

I come from the school of Know Every Single Detail About Each Other First.  The Academy of Wait and See.  I believed you had to date for many years and be engaged at least a year before deciding for sure, for sure that you wanted to drastically change your life.  You have to be FRIENDS first.  For a LONG time.  You have to learn to trust each other through thick and thin BEFORE committing to..., well..., commitment.

How can you possibly TRUST someone you hardly know!?!

Oh, there were the occasional stories of short-courting.  My best friend's parents are one of those stories.  Grew up in neighboring small towns.  Seen each other around.  Boy finally gets up nerve to talk to girl at dance.  Married 3 months later, and then for 50 plus years. Till death did them part.

But those were the exception, surely not the rule.  Certainly most couples dated a while, were engaged a while, and eventually were married.  

My own daughter and son-in-law dated on and off for about 3 years before becoming engaged.  I tried to talk her into a year-long engagement but the wedding occurred within 6 months.  Divorced within 7 years.

She's now in a non-married relationship and has a precious child.  Their little family, the 3 of them, are a marvel to watch up close.

In contrast, my son and daughter-in-law were unconventional in another way.  Friends of friends, they'd only actually met in person once or twice before committing to marriage. They're celebrating 17 years this year.

Apparently, there are many paths to love and marriage.  None of them more right, or successful than others.   Too many variables play into success.

What I do finally realize is why I previously thought the way I did.
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  For the tiger to really show its stripes.  For an out.

I don't trust.  I expect to be let down.  Therefore, why move too fast when it's just going to end anyway?  I have no successful personal examples to draw from.  I've heard the stories, but never witnessed any myself.

My childhood was full of short relationships.  Stepfathers and in-laws that came and went.  Everyone leaves, eventually.  No one accepts every little thing about you.  No one accepts your occasional bad attitude. So, let's just wait and see where this goes.  Let's just get to know every single detail about each other before we decide where this is going.

I've tried not to become a cynic.  I am truly joy-filled at all of the recent and upcoming weddings in my life.  I appreciate watching my children make it work.  I pray for love and patience and compromise in all of their lives.  I just don't know that I personally will ever experience that without always looking over ahead for the approaching end.

A co-worker, whose son recently became engaged, said that her family doesn't believe in long courtships or engagements.  "Once you know, you know.  Get on with it."

So this Valentine's Day, I pray all of you reading this Know and Get On With It, with the one your love and marriage path has led you to.  I'll let you know if I ever figure out where my path is.

Fasting

Matthew 6:16 “When you fast………...

Fasting strictly on the Day of Atonement is negated by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.  However, Christians are still expected to regularly fast as a means of drawing nearer to God by placing complete faith in His promise to fully provide for us.

While fast as a verb is defined as abstaining from all or some kinds of food or drink; and as a noun is an act or period of fasting; one of the adjective definitions strikes closest to the root as it pertains to our goal:

·       firmly fixed or attached:

synonyms: secure · fastened · tight · firm · closed · shut ·
[more]immovable · unbudgable

·         (of friends) close and loyal.

synonyms: loyal · devoted · faithful · firm · steadfast · staunch ·
[more]true · bosom · inseparable · constant · enduring · unswerving

·        (of a dye) not fading in light or when washed.

synonyms: indelible · lasting · permanent · stable

 

Consider a short fast at the start of this new year as a way to attach yourself firmly to God.  Remain secure in your trust of Him.  Do not allow things of this world to make you question His loyalty, provision, steadfastness. His love does not fade but is permanent and stable.

Matthew 6:16 “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”

Daniel 9:3 So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes.

Acts 14:23 Paul and Barnabas appointed elders for them in each church and, with prayer and fasting, committed them to the Lord, in whom they had put their trust.

Additional guidance can be obtained from the following resources:

Fasting – The Ancient Practices series by Scot McKnight

https://bible.org/question/what-does-bible-say-about-fasting

http://www.shadesofgrace.org/events/pursuit-21/types-of-fasts/

https://danielfast.wordpress.com/2007/12/13/types-of-fasting/

 

Key Principles of Biblical Fasting by Kay Arthur

Simplicity and Fasting by Jan Johnson

 

New Beginning

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

NIV

 

New year, new beginning?  Just as City Lights is a new church in downtown Fort Worth, is this the year for a new you?

Is your goal to lose weight?  Maybe to give up a bad habit or get out of debt or volunteer more? Maybe you’ve decided to give that forgiveness you’ve been withholding.  Or repair a burned relationship bridge. 

Do you have a plan of action?

1.      Join a gym

2.      Go to the gym

3.      Don’t give up

Where does Christ fit in your new beginning? 

We don’t need a calendar year to become new.  We are promised a new day, every single day, as long as we live in Christ. 

Make Christ a part of your game plan.  Put Christ first.  Through prayer and petition you can become the new that Christ desires you to be. 

Daniel 9:17 Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant.

Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you

Ezekiel 11:19 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Lamentations 3:20-25 ²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  ²³ They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Galatians 6:15   …... what counts is the new creation.

www.thecitylights.com

Matthew 28:2

"There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone...."

Someone recently asked me the common question, "Why does God allow such forces of destruction in nature?"

I am not a theologian; not a studious Bible reader, analyzer, etc. I only know what He has done for me, and what He can do for others. But I don't know all the answers - I don't even believe that the answers are the same for everyone. God is very personal.

I think many times, the theologians with all the answers sometimes get it wrong because they're over-analyzing. God is also very straightforward

So, that verse jumped out at me this morning in Easter service.

MAYBE, just maybe, we're missing the angel. What if, that violent earthquake, tornado, hurricane, volcano eruption...accompanies an angel.

We've all heard of the miraculous survivals, the baby or 80 year old grandmother buried in the rubble, found alive after several days. The big news over the past week was the massive destruction in the DFW area from multiple tornadoes, without a single loss of life.

What if, in looking at the destruction, we overlook the miracle that the angel brings. Perhaps, that miracle is a message from God. Hmmmm, interesting......

There was an earthquake when Jesus died, Matthew 27:51 "At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split." And then, an earthquake at his resurrection. Maybe, we should stop fearing the end of this world as we know it and look for the resurrection angel.

Thoughts? Comments? Insights?